Thicker than Blood Page 26

  Inside what I was assumed was the Cave was even eerier than the ghost town outside. There were eyes everywhere, peeking out at me from behind partially cracked-open doors, following me as I padded softly after Dori. The entire place smelled, not of garbage or mold, but of sweat and sex. Considering what I’d just been about to do, it was an unwelcome smell, only serving to remind me how low, and how weak, I really was.

  “Where are we going?” I whispered.

  “My room,” she responded simply.

  At the end of the hallway we turned left, where two more men were waiting. Dutifully they picked her up, wheelchair and all, and ascended a nearby staircase. I followed lamely after her, still unsure and feeling uneasy as to why I was being forced to remain here.

  When we reached the second floor, Dori quietly thanked the men and took control of her chair, wheeling herself along another hallway, this one much narrower and even darker than the first floor. Three doors in, Dori finally wheeled herself to a stop and pulled out a set of keys. Pushing open her door, she gestured for me to enter first. The room was pitch black, the only light coming from a small crack in the dark curtains.

  “What do you want?” I asked, not hiding my annoyance.

  “Come here, Wildcat,” she said, and I could hear the quiet swishing sound of her wheels spinning as she pushed herself toward the window.

  Rolling my eyes, I followed her over, watching as she pulled back the curtain and let in the sunlight. “Take a look,” she murmured.

  Blinking through the brightness, I peered out into the daylight, seeing nothing below but an empty camp, thinking again about how eerie it seemed, this loud and boisterous place suddenly so still. But I was also slightly awed at how quickly and proficiently they’d all worked together to keep this place safe and free from the infection.

  “Look up,” Dori said, pointing her finger. Lifting my eyes, I followed her finger past the market place, past the fences, and looked out into the wide stretch of empty land surrounding us on all sides.

  I saw something dark on the horizon, reminiscent of a storm cloud from far off in the distance. But this wasn’t a storm cloud, and it appeared to be moving. My eyes widened in realization as the words wall of death lodged in my throat.

  “Infected,” I murmured, then clasped a hand over my mouth.

  “Rotters,” Dori said, correcting me. “And yes, it is.”

  Flustered, I looked down at her as panic rose in my throat. “We can’t just sit here and wait. They’re coming right for us!”

  She shook her head, smiling kindly. “As long as we’re silent, as long as they don’t see or hear or smell us, they’ll pass us by.”

  “But there’s hundreds,” I protested, glancing back at the horizon. “Thousands!”

  “We’ve done this before, Wildcat. It’s never failed us. We work together to keep them out, to protect one another. We’re not as bad as you seem to think.”

  I knew she was speaking, but words—any words—seemed irrelevant, not when there was a horde of infected headed our way. Far too many for any fence or any number of guns to keep them out.

  “I need to get to Leisel!” I shouted, pushing past her, nearly tripping over one of her wheels.

  “I can’t let you leave here,” she replied. “My men won’t let you leave, not until the horde passes. And it will pass. You will be safe.” Giving me a small smile, she continued. “No one goes outside when a horde is near, it’s for everyone’s safety.”

  “But Leisel,” I said, feeling tears threaten. “What if she needs me?”

  “She doesn’t need you, she has her man.”

  Dori wheeled herself forward, toward a small bed in the far corner of the room. Patting the mattress, she smiled at me. “She’s safe with him, and you’re safe here with me. Come, lay down, rest a bit.”

  Deep down, I knew Dori was right. She was only repeating the words I’d been telling myself all day, that Leisel no longer needed me. But I couldn’t stop the stomachache that not being with her at a time like this, not being there for her, was causing me.

  And then it hit me, a realization that only deepened the empty, queasy sensation in my gut. Maybe Leisel never needed me. Maybe it was me who’d needed her all along.

  No. I shook my head. No. She had needed me in the past…and I had needed her. I still needed her. I would always need her.

  The only difference was now she had Alex, and I had been placed on the back burner.

  With slumping shoulders and tears begging to be freed, I took Dori’s offered seat on her bed, and let my head drop into my hands.

  “We’re all a little broken, Wildcat, it isn’t anything to be ashamed over. Just look how broken I am.” She laughed, a quiet, tinkling sort of noise. “You don’t have to go back to her, or to him. You don’t need to subject yourself to her happiness. You can stay here, I’ll look after you. We all will. We don’t ask much in return, just a bit of your body every now and then to help fill our bellies and keep us clothed.”

  Sure that at any moment I was going to lose what little remained in my stomach, I lifted my head to look at her. “I’m sorry,” I said, my voice trembling. “That’s not who I am, I don’t do…that.”

  But even I knew a lie when I heard one.

  Dori was still smiling at me, a comforting and kind smile, but it was also a knowing one that made me feel exposed and uncomfortable.

  “A strong woman knows what she is, Wildcat. And embraces it.” She smiled again.

  My trembling hands curled into fists as I jumped up from the bed. Glaring down at her, I shook my head. “No,” I said through clenched teeth. “No, that’s not who I am. I’ll wait here only because I have to, but I won’t work here. I won’t be a whore for you or for anyone.”

  Lifting her chin, Dori cocked her head to one side. “You have one man’s brand on your wrist, darlin’, yet I saw you with E, trading food for sex. Only reason I can reckon you’d be doing that is if your man isn’t really your man.”

  Locking my jaw, I spun away from her and counted to ten before I attempted speaking again. “I’m no one’s whore,” I gritted out, facing her. “No one’s.”

  “If you believe that,” she said, the blatant sarcasm in her tone making me even angrier. “But just remember, you’ll have to be the one to tell E that. And he isn’t a man to be turned away so easily.”

  I shook my head. “I’m not afraid of him.”

  She looked at me with sympathy, as if I was the poor deformed woman in the chair and not her. “You should be,” was all she said.

  “I’ve met worse than him, worse than you,” I gritted out, though fear was building in my belly. The realization of what I’d almost done, with what kind of man I’d almost done it with, began to dawn on me.

  “No, darlin’, you haven’t. There’s never been a man like him before. E is one of a kind.”

  I opened my mouth to say something, anything, but the words wouldn’t come. Closing my mouth, I turned away from her, doing my best to ignore the welling panic rising inside me.

  “E is a dangerous man,” she said. “He’s done things that…well, things that no man should ever have to do. But he’ll look after you, and if you’re good to him, he’ll be good to you. He could do with a good woman like you, and maybe you can tame him, Wildcat. Lord knows we’ve all tried. He doesn’t ask for much…” she said, her voice trailing off into a whisper as her gaze dropped to the floor.

  My stomach churned as I watched shame flood her pretty features. What had he done to her?

  Bending my knees, I placed my hands on either side of her wheelchair, forcing her to look up at me. “I already told you,” I said firmly. “I’m nobody’s whore.”

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Leisel

  “I can’t stay up here!” I insisted, trying not to shout. “I can’t stay up here not knowing whether she’s okay or not!”

  Leaning over the countertop, staring out at the empty paths below our building, tears were streaming down my che
eks. We’d been ushered, forced actually, back inside our building, and there had been no time to search for Evelyn. Despite all my protests, the armed guards now stationed inside our building’s exits refused to let me pass.

  I felt Alex’s body behind me as he aligned his torso against my back. Not for the first time, his arms came down around my waist, hugging me to him in an attempt to comfort me.

  “There is no one out there,” he said pointedly. “She’s inside another building. She’s safe, Lei, I promise you.”

  “But I never got to apologize,” I whispered, then swallowed another sob. “I said horrible things that I didn’t even mean, and what if something happens? What if the infected get inside the gates and it’s too late?”

  “She knows you didn’t mean it. She knows you’re sorry.”

  “You don’t know that!” My tears began to fall faster, harder, splatting across the stained plastic laminate. “You don’t know her like I do.”

  “You’re right, I don’t know that,” he admitted. “Not for sure, but I have to believe it.”

  I twisted my body, turning in his arms so we were facing each other. Looking up into his face, I shook my head. “Why do you have to believe it?”

  “I just do,” he answered, averting his eyes.

  I stared up at him in wonderment, seeing something I’d never seen before. There was a sadness in his eyes, in his downturned lips, in the way his shoulders had drawn in.

  “Alex?” I whispered, placing my hand on his chest. “Talk to me.”

  He shook his head, still refusing to look at me, and so I tugged on his shirt. “Alex, you’ve been there for me, let me be here for you. Talk to me, please.”

  Releasing me, Alex stepped back, then turned away and faced the door. The muscles in his arms and back flexed while he shifted agitatedly from one foot to the other.

  “My mom,” he said quietly, his voice cracking over the last word. “She didn’t come home one day. The infection hadn’t reached us yet…or so we’d thought. She’d just gone to a friend’s house to check on them, to drop off some food, and then she never came home. My dad and I were freaking out, calling everyone, trying to find her. We drove around for two days looking for her.”

  Biting down on my bottom lip, I resisted the urge to go to him. I wanted to comfort him, to show him the same sort of support he’d shown me, but I could tell by his body language and his tone of voice that this was a private moment, that I wasn’t welcome within it. So, I remained where I was and just listened.

  “My dad…he went sorta nuts after that. Everything combined, the shit on the news, the looting, the whole fucking town was panicked, and my dad…without my mom…he just lost it. He started blaming me for crap that wasn’t my fault, always yelling at me. He got sick, you know, from not sleeping, not eating, and from being constantly worried about her.

  “It was about a week after she’d gone missing when the infection showed up. Everyone was packing up and leaving, and I was trying to get him to do the same. But he wouldn’t leave, he kept saying he had to wait there for her, to be there when she came back. I tried to force him, for his own fucking good, but he was a big guy, even bigger than me. We ended up fighting…”

  He let out a humorless laugh. “Last time I saw my dad was when I punched him in the face, called him a fool, told him he was stupid for waiting, that mom was already dead. Then I left.”

  My hand flew to my chest, over my rapidly beating heart, and I swallowed hard. He sounded so young right now, like the nineteen-year-old boy he’d been when everything changed. Gone was the quiet, gruff-spoken man. This was a brokenhearted teenager.

  “I ran out of gas eventually. Got lucky, though, ended up getting picked up by a military caravan. They were just handing out guns to anyone, hoping that the more people they armed, the better chance we had.”

  He turned, facing me with tears in his eyes. “I never went back, Lei. I never saw him again. But I have to fucking believe that he knew I didn’t mean what I said, that he knew I loved him.”

  A choking noise bubbled up in my throat as more tears poured down my cheeks. Unable to refrain from touching him for one more second, I ran forward, slamming my body into his and wrapping my arms around his waist.

  “He knew it,” I whispered through my tears. “He knew you loved him, I promise you.”

  Looking down at me, Alex cupped my cheek and tilted my face. Then he bowed his head to mine and kissed me.

  • • •

  Evelyn

  “It doesn’t matter how much you pace, time won’t go any quicker,” Dori said, her voice soft and kind. “And stop worrying, everyone will be fine.”

  Her words should have been soothing, but considering that she’d just tried to convince me to work as a whore by telling me I was already one, her words were anything but. Instead they were annoying and obnoxious, like nails raking shrilly across a blackboard.

  Shooting a glance in her direction, I glared at her, but refrained from unleashing the bucket load of profanities that were on the tip of my tongue.

  We needed to leave here; I could see that now. This place, these people, the way they lived, it was vile and corrupt, just as bad as Fredericksville had been, if not worse. The only thing that was different was that this place wore their corruption like a badge of honor, whereas Fredericksville hid theirs behind closed doors.

  Eventually this place would ruin us. It would change us, harden us to the point where we’d only be concerned with ourselves. It would pry Alex and Leisel apart, Leisel and me apart, all by forcing us to become something we weren’t. I refused to let that happen; I might have been broken but I was still worth something. At the very least, I was worth more than a grilled rat.

  A creak sounded from behind me and I turned, watching as Dori’s bedroom door began to open. My stomach sank as soon as I saw his profile, large and overbearing, the width of him taking up every inch of the doorway.

  I stepped back, deeper into the shadows, willing the ground to open up and swallow me whole. He was the very last person I wanted to see, let alone be locked in a dark room with, especially since changing my mind about our little arrangement. Dori’s perception of me only convinced me that I wouldn’t be trading anything with this man, especially not my body.

  “Out.” His voice was rough and gravelly, deep and oppressive, brooking no argument.

  Dori responded instantly, wheeling herself across the room without question. As the door closed behind her with an audible click, my stomachache only worsened. This wasn’t what I’d wanted. This was never what I’d wanted.

  “The rotters?” I asked, my words breathless and quivering.

  “Almost here,” he answered, his black eyes focused on mine.

  I could hardly see him, but I could sense the air shift around me as he stepped forward, his large body passing by, his arm brushing against mine and causing me to shiver. The curtains were suddenly yanked open and light flooded the room. It was a welcome feeling, the warm sun on my chilled skin.

  He approached me, and when his strong hands fell on my shoulders, I willed myself to remain where I was, to not run screaming out into the hallway and alert the infected to our whereabouts.

  Bending down, he pressed a hard kiss on the side of my neck, his coarse beard grating roughly against my skin.

  “E,” I whispered, shivering again as fear drenched me. “I…I’ve changed my mind. I don’t want to trade with you anymore.”

  My fear gave way, breaching the hardened walls I had built while talking with Dori. She was right; E was dangerous, and suddenly my fight seemed futile.

  His fingers jerked, squeezing my shoulders even harder, causing me to wince. “That ain’t an option, Wildcat.”

  • • •

  Leisel

  “I thought we were waiting?” I mumbled against Alex’s persistent mouth. “’Til after your fight…”

  I was pressed up against the door, Alex’s big, broad body entirely covering mine. His hands were in my hai
r and my hands were up the back of his shirt, my fingertips digging gently into the smooth skin on his back.

  Our one small kiss had escalated rather quickly. Although I was still crying, and Alex was obviously a bit overcome with emotion himself, none of that seemed to matter any longer.

  He paused, releasing my mouth, and took a step backward. I slumped against the door, my body overheated and vibrating with excitement.

  “There isn’t going to be a fight tonight,” he said, dropping his gaze down the length of me. “Not with a horde so close by. They won’t risk the noise.” His eyes looked me over. “And…Lei?”

  “Yeah?”

  “You look amazing.”

  I wanted to laugh at that, because I looked far from amazing in my dirty dress and my face all red and puffy from crying. But, oh God, the way he was looking at me. It reminded me of the previous night, after I’d been freed from the cage. That hunger, that wanting, it was all back. Watching him watching me, my breaths shortened as my heart began to pound even faster.

  In one fluid movement, he’d pulled his shirt up over his head and tossed it aside. Then he was back, pressing his body against mine as he slid my dress straps off my shoulders, then pressed hungry kisses to the skin he’d just bared.

  My head lolled off to the right, allowing him better access as his mouth explored my neck. I reveled in the feel of him touching me, kissing me, wanting me in this inexplicably crazy way that he did.

  “Lei,” he said, my name a mere growl from deep within his throat. His hands fumbled with the hem of my dress and pulled it up, bunching it at my waist, and I helped him along, trying to move the material out of his way while still kissing him.

  His kisses—my God, his kisses. I felt so alive beneath his mouth and his hands, so wired, so unlike anything I’d ever experienced before.

  Alex’s hand slipped into my underwear and then lower, his fingers finding me. In mid-kiss, my body went still, my mouth falling open, my breath freezing in place. I dropped my head back, dropping it lightly against the door, and then he was moving inside me, and all at once my breath released in a whoosh of air that ended in a gasp of pleasure.