Thicker than Blood Read online

  As I breathed in, breathed out, my chest heaving, my body trembling, the pressure from Alex’s body was the only thing that kept me standing upright. And although I was still standing, I wasn’t, not really, not deep inside me. I was falling and then soaring, then falling again.

  Through fluttering eyelids I could see him watching me, his eyelids hooded, his lips pressed together in a determined line, and it only heightened my pleasure, knowing that he was watching me, knowing that he was enjoying watching me.

  “I dreamed about this,” he suddenly said, his voice husky and deep.

  I tried to focus on him but his hand was relentless, pulling me out of my weightlessness and back into this moment. To him.

  “Hmm?” I mumbled.

  “You. This look on your face, because of me. I dreamed about it a hundred times.”

  A tear slipped free from the corner of my eye, not from sadness, but from being so overcome, so completely mesmerized by him, by us, and by this moment we were locked inside together.

  “I wanted you bad, Leisel. From that first day when I arrived in Fredericksville. You dropped off clean clothing and food for all us guys. Ever since then…” His fingers began to move more insistently, as if the memory of that moment spurred him on.

  “I was the first woman you’d seen in months,” I mumbled breathlessly.

  “You were more than that,” he said. “You were something beautiful and good in the middle of a goddamn war zone.”

  This time I only managed a squeaky sort of moan in response, which seemed to be perfectly fine with Alex, considering he was now grinning.

  • • •

  Evelyn

  Pulling out from E’s grasp, I quickly backed away from him.

  “I told you, I’m not trading now.” I jutted my chin out, my fists curling into tight balls of defiance. But my knees were shaking, sending trembles rippling up and down my legs.

  Taking a step toward me, a grin snaking across his rugged face, E shook his head. “And I told you that ain’t an option.”

  “I don’t want your fucking vermin!” I snapped angrily. “I’m worth more than a dead rat!” I took another step backward, my back bumping against the door behind me.

  Still watching me, he raised his eyebrows in question. “Where you going, Wildcat? I’m not going to rape you. I ain’t never had to rape a woman, and I’m not gonna start now.” He laughed loudly, as if the thought of him having to rape a woman was the most ridiculous thing he’d ever heard in his life.

  “Well, you’re not getting anything from me,” I said, and swallowed back the lump in my throat.

  “What happened, Wildcat? I thought you were game?” He looked genuinely confused, and perhaps even a little amused by my sudden mood change, as if this was all a game to him. Trading women, sex…it meant nothing.

  Reaching out behind me, I fumbled with my hand, searching for the doorknob. “I was,” I said tersely. “Until I remembered that I’m worth more than a piece of meat.” Finding the doorknob, I turned it just as his eyes flickered from my face to my hand.

  He moved quickly for such a large man, reaching me before I had the chance to actually open the door. Slapping my hand off the doorknob, his arms came down to rest on either side of my head.

  “I agree,” he said, dipping his face down, his mouth on my neck once again. “You’re worth a shit ton more than a piece of meat.”

  A low, throaty growl rumbled forth, then his tongue darted out across my skin. He dragged his tongue up my throat, over my chin toward my mouth, where he licked his way across my lips.

  Squeezing my eyes shut, I shuddered beneath him.

  “You taste like peaches, Wildcat,” he murmured. “Sweet and juicy.”

  He paused in his wet perusal of my face and lifted his head, his black eyes looking me over. “I can get you whatever it’s gonna take.” Pressing his hips against me, he rolled them, making sure I knew how hard he was, how much he wanted this—me.

  If there was one thing I knew well, it was men. I wouldn’t be getting out of this; he wasn’t going to let me. But I wouldn’t let this happen to me for nothing, for a mere rat.

  “I want a truck,” I bit out. Thankfully the tremble in my body hadn’t yet reached my voice. I sounded strong and sure, the complete opposite of what I was feeling.

  Quirking an eyebrow, he smiled slyly at me. “Oh yeah? Why?”

  I wanted to snarl at him, to tell him it was none of his business, to tell him he could go to hell for all I cared, but instead I smiled. Two could play at this game.

  “Because,” I said, “I want me and my friends out of this place.”

  • • •

  Leisel

  I was still recovering from my orgasm when Alex lifted me off my feet and carried me across the room, then set me down on the mattress. My dress, ruined, torn open from the back, was already hanging half off my body. With one sweep of his hand, what remained of the dress was yanked from my body and thrown across the room.

  Seated on his knees between my spread legs, unbuttoning his pants, Alex was still grinning down at me. Giggling, I blushed furiously, not out of embarrassment, but happiness.

  “I feel guilty,” I suddenly blurted out, my smile slipping away. “There’s infected out there, Eve’s out there somewhere. We don’t know what’s going to happen if…” I paused, not wanting to finish my thought. Not wanting to say aloud that we could very well die here, today even, if the horde didn’t simply pass by as expected.

  “Better to have some happiness before you die, right?” He paused in removing his pants, watching me intently as concern creased his handsome features.

  I nodded, although rather listlessly. “I don’t want to die,” I said softly, and then froze, realizing what I’d just said. It hadn’t been all that long ago when I’d been ready to die, ready to just accept my fate and leave this world. I was different now, changed. I didn’t want to die, I didn’t want to leave, not when my life had finally become my own again. Not when I had two people who needed me now, Evelyn and Alex. How strange it felt to realize you were actually needed, when you’d spent years in stasis, feeling helpless and useless.

  “I won’t let you die,” Alex promised.

  Dropping his hands to the mattress on either side of my head, he lowered his face to mine and pressed a soft kiss to my lips. I took his face between my hands, then arched my body, pressing my bare breasts against his chest. Wrapping his arm around my back while still balancing on one hand, Alex maneuvered us both into a sitting position, with me straddling his lap.

  We kissed again, a deeply satisfying kiss, long and hard. The smell of him, of me, was all around us now, the heady scent of skin and sweat and bodies pressing together. I found myself unconsciously rocking my hips over his, kissing him more fervently than before.

  The ache had returned, the burning in my belly, and excitement snaked up my spine. I wanted more of him, needed more of him, and he seemed to understand this without me having to say a word. Reaching between us, he finished undoing his pants, and somehow—though I had no idea how—managed to wriggle out of them without having to release me. Then he was there, that part of him I was craving so desperately, pressing up against me, then slowly and gently filling me.

  Burying my face in the crook of his neck, I squeezed my eyes shut. There was so much, too much that I related to sex, and not all of it was happy memories. But I knew this was different, that this was real and this was good. There was no greed in this bed of ours, no evil lurking behind Alex’s handsome features.

  “I’ve got you,” he whispered, holding me tightly to him. “I’ve got you, Lei.”

  • • •

  Evelyn

  “You’ll die out there,” E said.

  “I’d rather be free,” I retorted.

  “Free to die?”

  “Or to live,” I whispered angrily. “Either way, I’ll be doing it my way.”

  He watched me for a minute, clearly deciding if I was worth it to him. “A
truck?” he repeated as he grinned at me.

  “And gas.”

  “Done,” he said with a shrug. “What else you need, Wildcat? You got a list in that pretty little head of yours?” he said, stroking a hand down my hair, letting my curls fall through his fingers.

  I nodded my head. “There’s lots of things we’ll need.”

  Throwing his head back, E laughed loud and hard, embarrassing me and making me foolish. He continued laughing, the volume of which made me wonder if the infected outside might hear it. All at once he stopped, his gaze again meeting mine, his features smooth and serious. “Of course there is.”

  I swallowed again, the lump in my throat stubbornly refusing to go down. “I want weapons, food, water…” One by one I ticked off a survival checklist, all things that Leisel, Alex, and I would need back out in the wild. Part of me hoped he’d refuse me, that he’d laugh at my exorbitant and ridiculous requests; yet another part of me hoped he would agree to my demands, providing us with what we needed in order to be free of this place once and for all. That perhaps if I were able to go back to Leisel with the keys to our freedom in my hand, she would forgive me for my many mistakes.

  “Done.” He smirked and lifted his hand. His palm landed on my cheek, his fingers running trails up the side of my face and into my hair. Gripping a handful of hair, he forced my head back. “You’ll get your truck, Wildcat, when I’m good and ready to give it to you. You done now?”

  “How do I know I can trust you?” I whispered.

  His smirk turned into a grin. “You don’t,” he replied. His eyes were expectant now, as if he was waiting for my confirmation, a signal that we’d come to a mutually beneficial agreement, and now he could collect his portion.

  I wondered at why it was so important to him, my consent, when we both knew he didn’t need it. He was big enough, strong enough, that he could simply take what he wanted and not have to give me anything in return. Was it the brand on my wrist? Was there some sort of punishment that was doled out if you took another man’s property? Even if there was, I doubted anyone would go up against a man like E for a woman like me.

  Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and nodded quickly. No more than a heartbeat had passed before his mouth was on mine, his tongue prying my lips apart as he pushed hungrily into my mouth. Gripping my waistband, he unbuttoned my pants, shoving them down my legs and bringing my underwear with them.

  Crudely, he pushed my thighs apart, and then his thick fingers were inside me, pushing and probing, making me gasp at the sudden violent intrusion. He pulled out of the kiss and pressed his forehead against mine, his breath hot and ragged against my face. Grunting, he ground his palm against me, his fingers working faster now, harder.

  Biting down on my lower lip, I gripped his shoulders and dug my nails into him, both wanting him to stop and wanting him to continue. I was dizzy, disoriented, my body suddenly a frenzy of want and desire while my mind continued to protest.

  One strong arm snaked around my waist, his large hand gripping me as he lifted me off the floor with ease. As he carried me across the room toward the bed, my pants fell from my ankles, and just as soon as he’d set me down he was gripping the neckline of my shirt. With one violent tug, it tore down the center, baring my breasts to him.

  Lying there, fully exposed, I watched E as he quickly undressed, pulling his T-shirt up over his head, revealing a stomach packed tight with layers of hard, rippling muscle. Unbuttoning his jeans, he kicked them away, then climbed onto the bed. Situating himself over top of me, he pushed my knees apart and stared down at my nakedness with a salacious grin on his face.

  Feeling oddly self-conscious, I attempted to close my legs but his hands were there, stopping me. Pushing them farther apart, he grinned down at me as he moved in, our bodies now touching, his hips aligned with mine.

  • • •

  Leisel

  I gasped again, not for the first time, but loud enough that Alex had to use his mouth to muffle the sound. Not an easy feat considering I was lying on my belly, Alex on top of me and buried deep inside.

  “Shh,” he whispered against my mouth. “I can hear them now. They’re all around the gates.”

  We both fell silent, listening to the odd buzzing noise that came from outside the windows. At first it had sounded like a swarm of mosquitoes circling your head, but the more I listened, muddling through our heavy breathing and pounding hearts, it grew clearer, more distinctive, sounding like something else entirely. A low chorus of groans and growls, too many to distinguish, all droning together and sounding like a low humming noise to the untrained ear.

  Beneath Alex, I shivered. They were everywhere now, practically on top of us, and what if they didn’t move on? What if they somehow sensed us inside? What if they…

  Alex slid free from my body, instantly distracting me from my thoughts, before returning to me slowly and sinking back inside. “Don’t think,” he said quietly against my earlobe, then kissed me again.

  Taking hold of both my wrists, he raised them above my head, using one hand to keep them there while his other traveled down the length of me. Again, his hips retreated, and again they returned.

  “I’m going to be so sore,” I murmured into the mattress.

  We’d already had sex once. Alex hadn’t lasted all that long, and after apologizing, had set straight to work on ensuring that I would finish this time. Or he was simply just trying to distract me from what was happening outside. Either way, I wasn’t complaining. At least, not yet.

  Wiggling my fingers, I beckoned for his hand. He complied, releasing my wrists and sliding his fingers between mine. For a moment I only stared at our wrists, at our matching brands that forever marked me as Alex’s, and I found myself smiling, rather liking it there, liking that I belonged to him.

  With a nudge of his nose, he brushed my hair to one side. His mouth found my neck, and then he was moving again. Slowly at first, the long slide of him in and out of my body forced me to bury my face into the mattress and stifle my cries as pleasure rippled through me. Then faster and faster, his hips worked a breathtaking, heart-pounding pace between my thighs, whipping my entire body into nothing more than a frenzy of need.

  Quivering, shaking like a leaf beneath him, I wanted to sob, to scream out in ecstasy. Instead, I bit down on the mattress and let my body scream for me.

  My body screamed and screamed until its voice was hoarse, until its insides had been wrung dry, not a drop of moisture remaining.

  A little piece of me died that afternoon—the part of me that still cowered in fear at the sight of a fist; the part of me that had wanted to leave this world, too scared and too selfish to realize what I was leaving behind; the part of me that had been forever afraid, my fear making me unwilling to see what was still here, the life that was still right here, even in the midst of all this death. It was gone now, having been whisked away into the ether while my body screamed itself raw in the face of indescribable joy and unimaginable pleasure.

  And then I drifted off to sleep, the most peaceful sleep I’d had in the past four years, while held safely within the arms of a good man. A man who loved me.

  • • •

  Evelyn

  Gripping my thighs, E angled himself against me, pressing the hard tip of himself just inside my entrance. Releasing my legs, he wrapped his hands around my waist, his fingertips biting angrily into my skin, his grip holding me firmly in place. Then his eyes lifted and met mine, a crude sneer twisted his lips, and with a loud grunt, he thrust himself inside me.

  I cried out in pain from the sheer size and savageness of him, attempting to pull away from him until his hand slapped down over my mouth. His weight crushed me, stifling my cries and thwarting my movements.

  With one hand clasped firmly over my mouth, the other holding tight to my waist, he slammed into me again and again. It didn’t matter how much I tried to buck and twist against him, he simply controlled my thrashing using his own body, keeping me pinned in place
no matter what I attempted. In all my life, I had never been fucked like this. He was like a man possessed, as if he was trying to internally brand me with his cock, and make me his forever. The entire time his eyes never left mine, his cruel hard stare burning into me.

  Grunting, E flipped me over, pressing his chest against my back as he once again drove himself deep between my thighs. His teeth found my shoulder, biting down, causing me to nearly scream out in pain. Instead, I bit down on the pillow beneath me, knowing there was no point in crying anymore. Everything he did, he was doing it to hurt me. He liked to know that he was in control, that my body was his to use as he pleased.

  But the fault was mine; I’d known exactly what I was getting myself involved in. I had been warned by both him and Dori, and yet I had still agreed. The price I’d set—Leisel and Alex’s freedom—was too important not to.

  But the pain he was causing me, it was more than just physical. With every brutal thrust, with every careless grab and twist of my skin, every biting kiss, and every cry I’d uttered that he’d answered with a grin, he was hurting me in places he shouldn’t have been able to reach. He was hurting me straight through to my soul.

  Desperate for an escape, I cast about in my mind and remembered the conversation I’d had with Leisel.

  “Where do you go?” I had asked. “When you zone out?”

  “To the past,” she’d said simply. “I go back to the past.”

  Squeezing my eyes closed, tears leaking from beneath my lids, I did as Leisel would. I went back to the past. I thought of Shawn, of his ruggedly handsome features, the way he’d always tickled me before sex, tickling me until I was laughing and begging him to stop, and then he would kiss me. And his kisses…his kisses had been everything.

  And I thought of Jami. His sweet, sinful smile, his skillful hands tearing the pleasure from my drenched and willing body, the beautiful way we’d always moved in sync, skin against skin. It was Jami I was thinking of as E continued to slam his body into mine.